The Bag of Responsibility

 

Behold!! The awesome bag of responsibility!!

 

 It never seems to fail. Without any doubt; your child will someday leave their bag at home. Then comes the tears and the begging; "Mom, I neeeeeed my bag. Go get it for me!!" (if you are lucky you will here a please in there. 

So then what do you do? Do you go get it? 

Up until recently I did go get it. However, then I read the book "No More Perfect Mom" and had parent-teacher conferences about responsibility. That was when I decided not to go get the bag. After all, she had to learn there was consequences, right? It was a difficult decision and in the end I brought bag to school before the end of the day. 

I think I am really learning to let the kids learn on their own, and let go of some of the pressure to be perfect. The only way kids know how to fall is if they learn to get up on their own. 

Stretch Momstrong

Have you ever felt like the popular stretchy toy?

I do all of the time. I stretch myself very thin. I have all kinds of forces pulling in many directions. I am in a constant state of tug-of-war. Which side wins will depend on the day but often every side will suffer. All the arms that pull me:




School

Not just my kids and their school, but my own. It seemed like a great idea a few years ago to go back to college and earn my degree, but that was a baby ago. Homework, hours spent reading/studying/preparing, and not to mention class time have all done a number on my ability to stretch.

Home

At home you have all the other responsibilities; cleaning, cooking, bathing, feeding, and such. This is usually the side the suffers the most. I devote my time and energy to everything else. By the time I sit down to decide to clean or do something else I am overstretched and just collapse.

Work

Work is another set of stress. I work full time as a pharmacy technician. I like the job but the environment is not always the best. I work in a retail pharmacy so I get the same retail pains of dealing with customers but then I also have to deal with them when they are sick. It is not always a pretty picture. Not to mention, my certificate as a pharmacy technician requires continuing education every two years to keep the certification but I am always learning something new as things change with the medical field on a a everyday basis.

Relationships

My relationships suffer a great deal do to all of my other things on my plate. My relationship with friends, family and husband are almost extinct.  This becomes increasing true when the school year is going on. Then add cold/flu season at work and I am sure some of these people think I ran away for a few months.

Hobbies/blogging

As you can tell from the gap in posts, my hobbies do not get done. I love to write and read. I have tried the National Write a Novel in a Month challenge for three years in a row and have yet to finish. How am I going to be a famous author someday if I can never author something??

Are you stretched to the max? What is pulling you??

Parents and Teachers

 

        I am completely honest; I hate this time of year. It is the dreaded parent-teacher conference. I have hated these things for a long time. In fact, last year I sent my husband to most of them. It helped I was pregnant, but I promise I was not using that as an excuse.

         I am always afraid of being judged. I am afraid the teacher will have one look at me and realize I don't have anything under control. I am afraid he or she will feel as if they need to rescue my children from my lack of parental know-how. A lot of thoughts go through my head right before I get called into the room:

        Did Lizzy get that slip turned in?
        Did I remember to sign the slip?
        What was the slip about again?
        What if they tell me that slip was the end all, and now my precious children will have to be schooled in Mexico where a true parent can take over?

        But this year I was very surprised. Not only did my children do much better this year than last, but the school system has a new policy that takes a lot of pressure off of moms who are trying to do it all. The school is teaching the kids they are responsible for themselves. It has now become their job to do their homework. It is their job to turn it in, and come to school with all of their stuff. My job is to sign the slip, but they are responsible for bringing it back. I felt like a big rock was lifted off my shoulder.

Who takes the responsibility at your house? Do you worry about the parent-teacher conference?

 

Messy Rooms and Broken Toes

 Only in a few houses can a messy room led to a broken toe. My house has accomplished this feat with great accuracy. Let me paint the scene:

   

    The time is 7am and my seven year old daughter can not find a sweater to wear to school. Of course, we have just ten minutes to get to the bus, and I have recently taken an oath to let her wear what she wants. Mentally I had a little bit of a debate; let her go without a sweater, be cold, and then come to me and tell me how right I was or go find a sweater, which I am sure is in her room, and make her wear it to school. I choose the latter. 

So there I am in panic mode trying to get my daughter to the bus on time, when out of nowhere, something hard appears. Oh, and the sweater. Before I know it; bang, snap, pop!!! My toe is broken and I am shouting at the top of my lungs how I am going to throw away everything on her floor. Let's see her have a hard time finding a sweater when she has nothing else in her room.

There is the story. The interesting part is what happens when I tell others about what happened. In my house, the children are allowed to keep their room however they want. However, I will normally refuse to enter their room if it is a health hazard. 

When I spoke of this rule for my household to another mom she told me something interesting. Her daughter has to clean up her room every Sunday. She says it will teach her to keep a clean house when she is an adult. She said otherwise her daughter will think "she can keep a house however she wants when she is an adult."

Isn't that part of being an adult? Keeping your house how you want? I ask in all honesty how many of us actually keep as clean as a house as we would like? This world would be a better place if we just learn to accept certain truths: messy rooms = broken toes = adult children who choose what they want and are happy about it.

Check this out:

What Children Learn from a Messy Room

          Day One

      Imagine for a moment you decided to hang everything out on the line; all of your dirty laundry. You hand up those old and torn underwear that you only wear during that 'time.' Imagine all of your unmentionables hanging on your clothesline for the world to see. Imagine your bra and lingerie colors and styles being discussed at the next neighborhood block party.

         
               Most of us cringe at the idea of others looking at all of these things. So we keep this stuff hidden. We keep many things hidden. Like the underwear the is old and torn: we choose to keep many of things we are embarrassed or not proud of hidden inside the safe haven we call our home.

              However, the time has come to lay it all out there. I am ready to expose all of the secret struggles, many obstacles, and great messes that come with being human and less then perfect. I struggle: I struggle with kids, my marriage, work, and school. I struggle with being less then perfect, and if you were honest and open you would realize you struggle too. That is ok. It is ok to be imperfect, and it is ok to talk about it.

               This blog is dedicated to the idea of being honest. I am going to share each struggle, each failure, and each less then pristine moment. I am doing so in hopes that the world can start being real. It is time to hang our 'dirty' laundry on the line in hopes to see that everyone in the neighborhood, the world, has something they are not proud of.

               This idea was born thanks to the book by Jill Savage called "No More Perfect Mom." It is a must read. It is ideal for any mom that is struggling with any issues in her life; marriage, body, kids, and many others.